


Innocence is Overrated

by AERS_Radio



Category: Free!
Genre: Almost Kiss, Bisexuality, Coming Out, Drunken Confessions, Falling In Love, First Time, Long Hair, Multi, Nagisa's rather sneaky like that, Past Relationship(s), Rei cares a lot, Worry, at least I guess that's where this goes, but he's clumsy, implied genderfluidity?, the alcohol just loosens things up, well semi-drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:48:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22034317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AERS_Radio/pseuds/AERS_Radio
Summary: Nagisa and Rei have been friends for over seven years. They did their own things after high school, Rei very studious as you'd expect, Nagisa finding work and being more of a party animal. They never lost touch though, and Rei could see Nagisa change considerably. Yet he never dared challenge the changes, and suffered in silence, wondering alone what was going on. Until one evening, Nagisa decided to get him mildly drunk so he could hear just what he'd been up to...This short takes place within my mainFuture Free! Motor Racing AU, though zero racing is referenced; it can be read independently. It can also be read as a sequel toThe Fair Value of Knowledge, axxxHoliccross-over in which Rei's questioning is established.
Relationships: Hazuki Nagisa/Original Character(s), Hazuki Nagisa/Ryuugazaki Rei
Kudos: 10





	Innocence is Overrated

**Author's Note:**

> In terms of how this story fits into the _Motor Racing AU_ , for those who know it, it's 8 months after the latest part of that series, _Fast! One-Off Reunion!_ It's also a year and a half after _The Fair Value of Knowledge_.
> 
> Rei and Nagisa are aged 23.
> 
> Rated **M** for alcohol and sexual discussion.

**Yokohama, late May 2019**

It had been another relaxing, joyful evening out for Rei and Nagisa. Since they had both moved to the same area of the same city, they met more often and brought their groups of friends along. Already, two people were viewing the pair as a godsend: they had started dating thanks to those nights on the town.

That evening, however, it was just Rei and Nagisa. They had enjoyed a meal and, upon leaving the restaurant, Rei pondered the next move.

“Are we going to that club you like, Nagisa-kun?”, he asked, but his friend was pensive. This surprised Rei. Nagisa would normally pounce on him being in the mood to dance.

“I'm feeling a bit mellow tonight actually”, Nagisa replied quietly. He grabbed Rei's sleeve and added “I'd much rather spend some time with just you.” Looking up to his long-time friend, he smiled again. “Let's go back to my place and make some cocktails! I recently got this book from a co-worker... And don't worry about overdrinking, you can sleep on the sofa!”

“Why would I overdrink?”, Rei mumbled, implicitly taking up the offer, which he still thought was strange. Not strange as such, but the way it was put forward seemed odd. The two started walking away, with Nagisa teasing Rei over how little drink he needed to feel tipsy.

As promised, Nagisa and Rei made and tasted all kinds of cocktails. Typically, they'd just prepare one shot and share it, so as to be able to vary. They'd only make a second example of a recipe if they both really liked it.

Rei had forgotten his worry about Nagisa, the evidence pointed to his state being perfectly normal after all.

Nagisa, meanwhile, was getting nervous despite the alcohol. He had given Rei enough drink to relax him, more might make him less conscious, so the time was right for his confession. He made one more rum-based cocktail he liked the most, and sat back in the sofa, gathering his courage. His heavy sigh caught Rei's attention.

“Are you feeling it, Nagisa-kun? I thought I was the one who couldn't handle it!”, he joked, pressing his glasses back arrogantly. Nagisa smiled gently and spoke.

“I'm fine, Rei-chan, it's just... I have something to say. Something about myself... You might have suspected it, but I want to confirm, because now I am sure of it.”

Rei was all ears. Nagisa put his glass on the table and invited Rei to do the same, then he turned and sat with his legs crossed on the sofa, looking at his friend intently. He took a deep breath, his heart sped up and his cheeks turned slightly rosier.

“I am bisexual, Rei-chan.”

Nagisa had done it. He'd come out to the one who may be the most dear to him.

He didn't know what kind of reaction he'd get. Rei was silent and still. He didn't seem to comprehend. Well, of course he understood the word, but Nagisa decided he'd elaborate to get the subject moving.

“I'm capable of having relationships with girls and guys”, he said. “Yeah, I won't go into details if that bothers you, but... I know because I have tried both, and I like both. If I meet someone and I'm really in tune with them... and we feel like getting close, I don't care what gender they are.”

Rei's continued silence bothered Nagisa, this hadn't happened with anyone else. He became nervous again, and made a push to break the ice.

“Rei-chan, I'm telling you this because you're important to me. I have been holding back, yes, waiting to be certain, and now, I'm ready to tell you everything you want to know. Everything and anything you need from me, I'll do it. Please don't hold back, I will answer all your questions.”

“I have no questions, Nagisa-kun, the situation is clear, thank you”, Rei muttered, pressing back his glasses.

But after another short moment of awkward quiet, Rei's restraint snapped.

“Actually, no, I have loads of questions, and I don't know where to start!”, he breathed out loudly.

Nagisa was startled by Rei's change of tone, but it was better than silence. He put on a sweet, reassuring smile and put a hand forward, offering comfort, but stopping short of actually resting it on Rei's arm.

“Take your time, Rei-chan. We have all night.”

Rei sighed and tried to gather his thoughts. First of all, he was frustrated with himself. He had guessed something was up, yet he relaxed, taking in shot after shot, and let Nagisa catch him unawares. Then he latched back on the topic. Nagisa was bisexual. Nagisa had admitted having intimate relationships.

“So you're not a virgin, Nagisa-kun?” No sooner had he asked the question, than he felt like slapping himself. Or apologizing before Nagisa slapped him. Did his first question have to be so rude?

But Nagisa calmly shook his head, still sporting the same smile. Not the smug or proud smile of someone whose next comment would be “and you still are”, but the soft smile that showed he was comfortable with answering any question Rei put forward, as he had said he would.

Rei ashamedly let his next question slip. “Several times?” Nagisa just nodded.

“Men and women?”

“Yes.”

“... Which first?”

“My first time was with a girl.”

“Do... do I know her?”, Rei continued, praying it hadn't been Gou for some reason.

“Mmm, you did meet her. Do you remember that girl I swam with for a time, just after I dropped out of uni?”

Rei's eyes widened. Yes, he knew who Nagisa was talking about. A girl they hadn't seen again for a couple of years at least, but her face was clear in Rei's mind. He couldn't help it, he imagined Nagisa next to her. Getting intimate with her... What on Earth was that like? Could he ask that?

“We flirted a bit”, Nagisa continued regardless, in the same direct, unhesitating tone. “Well, she started making comments about my body and wanting to see it. I played along, and when we got the chance in private, I said I'd like to see her too. Things escalated until...” Rei was blushing uncontrollably, both anticipating a steamy scene and wanting to stop Nagisa from saying something naughty. But Nagisa's demeanour had changed a bit. He turned pensive, found his words, and sighed.

“Until I realised she wasn't actively participating.”

Rei's head tilted into a puzzled look.

“I asked her what it was”, Nagisa continued with a hit of sadness. “I was sure I'd done something wrong. She kept saying no, it wasn't that, it wasn't me, just... She liked looking at me but didn't really want more, and she found that out... well, by trying anyway. But in a sense, it was my fault. I'd rushed it, that's what I did. I hadn't got to know her enough to understand what she wanted from me. And as for me, I needed someone more dynamic, someone who plays with me as much as I play with them. So I learned a lot from it, but not a good first time unfortunately.”

Rei was still in awe at Nagisa's ability to talk about such an intimate matter. He felt compassion, but also confusion.

“I'll say”, he replied. “But... since you say that you rushed it, I wonder... can I ask this?” Nagisa, smiling again, nodded. “Why did you give yourself up so easily? I... I'm sorry, that was inappropriate, wasn't it?”, Rei continued, again immediately regretting his question. Nagisa just shook his head though, so Rei attempted to justify himself further, hoping he wouldn't dig a deeper hole for himself. “I mean, I think the first time should be for someone... well, special, someone you love, someone you've been with for a while. Doesn't Nagisa-kun believe that too?”

“Hmm, I guess I do”, Nagisa answered, stroking his chin, “and I want a love partner one day, but in the heat of the moment... You know me, I'm not one to hesitate when something good comes up, I can't really wait to enjoy it!” On that last sentence, Nagisa winked. In reply, Rei winced.

“Something good, you mean...”, he mumbled, before scratching his head intensely with frustration. “It's so strange to hear this... dirty subtext from you! I've always seen you as innocent in that respect!”

“Innocence is kind of overrated”, Nagisa sighed. “However, I'm not irresponsible, I know what's dangerous. But if I feel safe about something, I want to explore, try it and experience it! The first time didn't go well, but I've had great partners since, and as a result, I know what I like. Maybe I'm better prepared for that really special person than if I'd waited... Usually, Rei-chan is very curious and wants to know a lot, so what about this realm of pleasure?”

The sudden switch in position, from questioner to questioned, surprised Rei. And the subject was embarrassing. But he couldn't be offended by it, Nagisa was not malicious. Could Rei open up like Nagisa had? Surely not!

“Um, well, obviously I know the theory...”, he blushed, “it's kind of common knowledge...”

“Even between two guys?”, Nagisa quipped cheekily. Rei yelped and hid behind his hands, prompting a burst of laughter from his friend. He'd become so engrossed with the fact that Nagisa wasn't a virgin that he'd forgotten that the discussion was originally about Nagisa liking both genders. This time, Nagisa's outstretched hand did reach Rei's shoulder.

“Haha, leave it there, I'm messing with you, Rei-chan! Besides, I'm not always thinking about that. I still have the same fun as before, just by meeting nice, new people, dancing, chatting, laughing, getting to know them... You've seen me on some nights out, and that's how I am, I'm being myself, and that feels great as it is. Sometimes that attracts another person and I feel like getting closer to them too, that's a plus, but it's not routine.”

Rei thought back to some recent evenings he'd spent with Nagisa around other people. He couldn't remember a single moment that stood out as odd, or even some innuendo. Nothing major had changed... At least, in front of Rei, Nagisa was capable of maintaining his usual cheery and happy-go-lucky character.

The moment of levity allowed the pair to relax about it, to the point where Rei was ready to make a confession of his own.

“I guess I should admit this to you”, he started slowly, “I'm a bit ashamed to say it, as it's not my business, but I've been keeping this inside me for a long time, and it's probably related to what you've just said.” It was Rei's turn to take a deep breath.

“For some time, your appearance has made me feel... unsure.” Damn, why was Rei so clumsy?! “No, there has to be a better word.”

“Unsure? About what?”, Nagisa perked.

“That's not the word I want, I said!”

“Ok, sorry, please go on.”

“It's the hair, mostly, and the way you dress on some nights, which I saw in photos on your social.” An awkward silence fell again. Nagisa never had a hint that his appearance had an effect on Rei.

“Hmmm... You always said I looked good when I asked”, he mumbled.

“I know”, Rei replied, looking down. He hesitated on, “and I really do think that this... dare I say, this feminine style suits you.”

“Feminine, huh?”

“Yeah... and in light of what you've said, I suppose that's how you've been trying to attract men...”

“No, I'm not cross-dressing for flirts!”, Nagisa scoffed in protest.

“Then why? When you were younger, you hated it when your sisters dressed you up as a girl”, Rei remarked. “That confuses me a lot.”

“I've just... been trying something different... following what I feel like doing, see what happens...”, Nagisa answered sheepishly.

“To see what happens”, Rei repeated, gulping. “I've been worried about you, Nagisa-kun. With looks like that... I've been concerned you'd meet someone who would try to... well, take advantage of you.” Nagisa sighed and smiled softly, touched by the genuine concern Rei had expressed.

“Rei-chan, look at me”, he whispered. After Rei had turned, pressing his glasses back to have a clear vision, Nagisa smirked, pulled his left T-shirt sleeve up to his shoulder and flexed his arm. “I'm a breaststroke swimmer, Rei-chan, and I've had some defence training for my work. I'm sure I can deliver a punch if I have to!” Rei chuckled. He felt silly. Of course he knew that Nagisa was physically strong, and no change in wardrobe or hairstyle could change that.

“Ok, that's a very convincing tough guy!”, he joked. Nagisa grinned back, looking his usual joyful self again. “Thank you, Nagisa-kun”, Rei continued, seriously. “That's dispelled my fears. I wish I'd had the courage to bring the subject up sooner.”

“Don't worry about that, Rei-chan. Besides, you said my looks might attract men... Does that mean Rei-chan finds me attractive?”, Nagisa winked. Rei let out an embarrassed groan, but Nagisa's teasing continued. “Apparently guys lose it when a cute girl unties her hair”, he said, proceeding to remove his tie and unfurl his blond, wavy hair. Rei wouldn't normally notice the gesture, but Nagisa was drawing attention to it, so he stared. His eyes widened and his cheeks turned pinker. He was in the presence of beauty.

“Ooh, looks like that did make your heart accelerate!”, Nagisa chirped, bringing some of his hair in front of his shoulders. Rei had to break his pose and react, somehow.

“N... Nagisa... kun... Are you... courting me?”, he fumbled. Nagisa burst out laughing. He was absolutely in stitches, and had to reach out to the table in front of the sofa to stop himself from falling.

“Hahaha! 'Courting', I love it! That's so old-fashioned!”, he managed to say after a moment, before asking Rei to help him sit back up. “Oh man, that was great! Your face, the word 'courting'... Ah, I love messing with you, Rei-chan.”

The laughter was contagious, but Rei's giggling was more nervous. It was true that his choice of words had been ridiculous, and that was genuinely funny. But his reaction to Nagisa acting cute... Why had he felt a warm rush? He brought a hand to his forehead and remembered that he had possibly drunk more than he should have. Nagisa was also likely tipsy too. As the fit of hilarity subsided, the blond man held a strand of hair over he shoulder, and looked at it, seemingly reminiscing a time when he couldn't do that.

“Yeah, the long hair looks feminine”, he commented, “but some girls like it too, and think it's really manly.” After a pause, he looked back at Rei, who had turned back to face him. Their eyes met, Nagisa sighed and brought a hand to his chest as a sign of sincerity.

“You know, Rei-chan, every time you compliment my looks, it makes me feel good inside, because you have good taste when it comes to those things! If you like what I'm doing, I know I'm doing it right. I'm so lucky to have you in my life.”

Between the drinks, the reveals and the kind words, Rei was getting emotional. Nagisa shuffled closer and gently put one hand on his back to comfort him.

“I'm so relieved I managed to tell you all this, Rei-chan”, he continued. “You're so important to me. Please, tell me what I can do for you.”

Rei paused, before turning quickly and grabbing Nagisa, holding him tightly in his arms. He was whimpering, exorcising his own relief and conveying back, without any words, the sense of importance Nagisa had to him. With his head pressed against Rei's chest, Nagisa closed his eyes and listened to Rei's breathing and heartbeat, something he'd never done with Rei before. Meanwhile, his taller friend was running one hand through his long hair. Nagisa noticed, and smiled. Beyond the feeling of being caressed in that way, he was amused at the irony of knowing Rei might not get another chance to do that for a while – he was intent on going back to a short cut!

When the hug's grip loosened, Nagisa seized his chance to sit back up. He brought a hand to Rei's cheek to wipe a tear away. The eyes of the two young men met. Nagisa had that sweet, reassuring smile again; Rei returned it, while turning his head onto Nagisa's hand, begging for the contact to continue. Nagisa obliged, moving his hand to behind Rei's neck, but neither was sure where to take this next. How much affection they had for each other, how much they could offer, was dawning on them. Rei sensed that he wanted more, he longed to cuddle Nagisa-kun and witness his tenderest side first-hand, but could it damage their precious relationship? The blond boy, meanwhile, felt an urge to move his face closer to Rei's and give him a most special gift, as it would be the first (so he imagined); after all he did say he would do anything, if only Rei-chan would ask for it!

After what felt like minutes of stalemate, Nagisa found some words.

“We've drunk quite a bit, huh? Maybe it's time to rest”, he whispered.

“I guess it is”, Rei replied.

Nagisa went to fetch a sheet in the bedroom. Out of each other's sight, they sighed heavily, halfway between swooning satisfaction from the intimate moment they had shared, and frustration that they hadn't dared push for more. In separate rooms, they realised what they were thinking, and slapped themselves on the forehead for thinking it. What had possessed them? They held each other in high esteem, they shouldn't be feeling this kind of desire! On the other hand, that desire had seemed so intense during that last exchange...

If it had happened at all... It had felt so unreal and unusual to him, that Rei was doubting it. Nagisa, on the other hand, thought that maybe he was right and it was all fuelled by alcohol. This allowed the pair to overcome their emotions for the time being, and Nagisa's bedding delivery to the lounge went on without any awkwardness. But as they settled in bed, they both knew this wasn't the first time they'd felt a flutter the other's presence...

**Author's Note:**

> That was a short I felt like writing as my thoughts on Nagisa within the AU evolved (it's still in my mind even if I should really stop...). In particular, he put out his bisexuality (or some would have interpreted it as support at least) [on his helmet](https://aers-radio.tumblr.com/post/186120799156/nagisa-hazuki-ive-enjoyed-being-a-wildcard) for a race in July. For more of Nagisa's 2019 racing shenanigans, you can click the tag "brief revival" in the linked post... or find the AU on the AO3 to go right back to the beginning, if you think that'll be your thing.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed that. It's unlike me to go into the boys' private lives, but hey, there it is.


End file.
